Happy Friday, CU! Morpheus is very excited for the upcoming weekend! Tonight, Morpheus is ready to attend the Mr. CUA pageant. He will be cheering the loudest, so pay close attention. He was really hoping he would see Mr. Benedek up on stage, preferably in a Speedo, flexing to something such as “I’m a Barbie Girl.” Sadly, Morpheus does not believe Mr. Benedek will be participating. He would also love to see Mr. Morris up there on stage, but believes Mr. Morris is too busy putting together is campaign. Oh, wait, was that a secret?
On a more sad, dreary note, Morpheus heard from the bird that Antonin Scalia’s funeral will take place on campus this week. He sends his condolences. While on that note, your old Uncle Morph was deeply disturbed by the amount of negativity he heard around campus after Scalia’s passing… and from a bunch of Catholics!
Oh! Morpheus also has a fun report this week! President Garvey and a few fine chaste chaps up at the Theology department have put together a program involving the creation of a healthy dating culture on campus, combatting the evils of the hook-up culture and pre-marital hand-holding. Morpheus is deeply interested in seeing how this will turn out, considering the fact that CU’s LGBT community is quite vocal now. Now, Uncle Morph demands that all to play nice. Last year’s outburst and protest at the Anscombe Society event was quite a chuckle, but, let’s be honest, was quite absurd. If one is coming to the Catholic University of America for college, they should expect to be slapped in the face with the Holy Bible from time to time. Everyone made the decision to come here, so playing victim gets old.
Signed, Morpheus Q. XVI