Horoscopes For 9/25/2025
Photo from The Howler
By Lilly Murphy
This is an independently submitted op-ed and does not reflect the views of The Tower.
Your horoscope for the week of 9/25/2025:
Aries: Garvey food is not gonna treat you well this week. I’m so, so sorry.
Taurus: Reply hazy, ask again later.
Gemini: You guys are so cool and awesome, you’ll have the best day and your favorite team is going to win their next game. 🙂
Cancer: Your favorite team is gonna blow it.
Leo: You’re gonna have to chill out; you’re harshing the vibe like crazy.
Virgo: Everyone you know is talking about that embarrassing thing you did. That was actually so weird of you and they’ll probably think about it forever. (This is targeted at you. Yes, you.)
Libra: Happy Birthday! You’re gonna be late to all your morning classes this week.
Scorpio: Peepeepoopoo.
Sagittarius: How many ducks would you have to see in a day before you start to question your reality?
Capricorn: Please for the love of God go to the library.
Aquarius: All of your socks will go missing.
Pisces: You are somewhere between the biggest crashout of your life and being more at peace than ever before. Good luck with that.
