Drake & PARTYNEXTDOOR Serve Up a Big Ol’ Nothing Burger -

By Tim McGuire

Drake is no stranger to attracting attention from the public, especially after last year’s feud with Kendrick Lamar. All eyes were on him once $ome $exy $ongs 4 U was announced, Drake’s first album since the aforementioned fight. It should be noted that this album isn’t a solo effort, as PND (PARTYNEXTDOOR) is also credited, despite not appearing in almost a third of the album. Their combined effort made a 21-song album spanning 73 minutes just in time for Valentine’s Day, though I doubt it would get any couple in the mood for the holiday.

Generally, when I do an album review, I listen to the album twice to give a proper analysis. I dedicate the first listen to writing down what happens during each song. However, after only listening to a few songs, it felt too redundant for me to keep writing down what happened. It felt like I was saying the same thing each time: “It’s an okay song.” Drake and PND play it extremely safe on this album, sacrificing any excitement for painfully average rap/R&B songs. Even if the songs are not meant to excite, one would think it would evoke a sense of affection or tenderness because of the title $ome $exy $ongs 4 U, right? Unfortunately, they also fail at that. The pair end up not evoking anything, making the album feel longer than its runtime, if that is even possible.

There are some exceptions to the monotonous sound on the album, but these exceptions only make the flaws in them stand out more. For instance, “MEET YOUR PADRE” features a Latin-influenced beat and Drake trying to work Spanish words and terms into his lyrics… with a clear emphasis on “trying.” Most lines are essentially the average Drake bar you can think of except one of the words is traded out for its Spanish counterpart: “Without you, my heart’s in dolor.” With this and many other attempts to diversify throughout the album, it ultimately lets it fall flat under a closer analysis.

If there is anything in this album worth discussing, the lyrics come to mind, and even then it is not in a positive light. There are numerous bad lines spread out, but I think that “CELIBACY” as a whole is awfully written. There is more emphasis on the lyrics here because of the instrumental taking a step back, letting Drake and PND take center stage. The song is about a girl that Drake has not had sex with in “…four months, and two weeks, and 36 hours, and eight minutes…” and asking her for another go. Drake spends the entire 4 minutes crooning in autotune for another chance with this girl, and also sneaking in a reference to… Kendrick Lamar? “We’re not like them, baby, and they’re not like us, either one.” Not even denouncing it, just a straight up reference to the diss track that trashed on his character as a victory lap. The name “CELIBACY” also implies that this girl is explicitly refusing to have any sexual intimacy, so I found it hard to feel bad for Drake when he is essentially just pestering a woman for sex.

The two tracks that stood out to me were “SMALL TOWN FAME” and “GIMME A HUG,” both for very opposite reasons. “SMALL TOWN FAME” is actually pretty good compared to the rest of the tracklist, boasting a bouncy beat and some decent songwriting. The only thing dragging it down is its short runtime of two minutes, making it a bit hard to replay when it feels like it ends in a flash. On the other hand, “GIMME A HUG” is pretty enjoyable, despite its flaws. The song goes through three different beats in three minutes, and covers a LOT of topics. There is no direct topic the song addresses, making it a little hard to follow. For example, these lines are back-to-back: “‘Cause if I die, it’s these n***** that become the sole beneficiary, and what the f*** are they gon’ do with it? Had the girls up at 29 twerkin’ with a dictionary.” There is so much to unpack in the song that it became almost comical.

In the end, $ome $exy $ongs 4 U is a tiring if inconsequential experience. I do not blame Drake for just putting an album out because he is rich enough to not care at this point, but it would have been interesting to see him come back swinging after a rough year. As for PARTYNEXTDOOR, he remains as just that one guy who collaborates with Drake now and then. If Drake and PND are the special ones in your life making some sexy songs for you, you might as well just be dating mannequins.