Red One is a Yuletide Mess to Behold
Image Courtesy of Amazon MGM Studios
By Luis Zonenberg
Joy to the world, for Red One is here! Director Jake Kasdan takes a break from filming Dwayne Johnson in the jungles of Jumanji and decides to follow him instead to the North Pole. What follows is a visually sloppy mess with a script so entertainingly stupid that it could have only been written by the geniuses behind the Fast & Furious franchise.
The story details the kidnapping of Santa Claus (J.K. Simmons) and the maniacal plans the evildoers have for him. This forces E.L.F. head commander, Callum Drift (Dwayne Johnson) out of retirement as he enlists the help of renowned naughty lister and tracker extraordinaire, Jack O’Malley (Chris Evans). Hijinks ensue as the two race against the clock to rescue Santa before Christmas is ruined forever!
The story itself has potential to be a funny children’s film, but it takes itself way too seriously with the jokes mostly focusing on slapstick and MCU-style banter. The jokes barely worked, failing to get a rise out of me as I was too confused by what tone the movie was going for. The absurdity of this story is severely downplayed, instead trying to be sentimental with its recycled messages from far superior Christmas outings.
The visuals were by far the biggest travesty here, putting its 250 million dollar budget to shame. The CGI was so cheap and out of focus, it looked more like a video game cutscene I was squinting my eyes at. The lighting was abysmal, with most of the action scenes so dim and rapidly paced I could not follow any of it.
The acting was fine considering the poor script the cast was dealt. Dwayne Johnson and Chris Evans have about as much chemistry as any other mismatched duo ever put together. If anything, I would say Kiernan Shipka as Gryla, the Christmas Witch, and Kristofer Hivju as Krampus were the more entertaining duo in comparison. As for Santa himself, well, J.K. Simmons nails it as always, so nothing more need be said there.
While I cannot say the world-building was anything spectacular, I was engaged by how creative it was. It mixes in elements from movies like Arthur Christmas and Rise of the Guardians to make a pretty imaginative concoction all its own. The militarized organization of E.L.F.s and expansion of Christmas to other holiday icons like Krampus help mix things up enough to keep you entertained at least in that respect.
Altogether, this adds up to two sloppy hours of Christmas leftovers as the radio blasts out Mariah Carey’s holiday album. The movie never amounts to anything truly meaningful, merely echoing better Christmas stories I would rather watch again. This is one true representation of Hollywood consumerism at its most jollyless. Unless you’re down for sloppy seconds, Red One stands as a holiday movie I wouldn’t touch with a 39 and a half-foot pole.
Red One is now playing in theaters.
Rating: ★★☆☆☆
