Mr. CUA 2022: A Princely Pageant

Image Courtesy of Anna Harvey

By Anna Harvey

As a snowstorm blew in on a blustery Friday, January 28, students from all majors and classes flocked to the Pryz, where they were welcomed by the Program Board, an assortment of hors d’oeuvres, and a group of vibrantly dressed gentlemen, all of whom would vie for the esteemed position of Mr. CUA 2022.

Each year, Program Board holds a student nomination process several weeks prior to the Mr. CUA competition; those chosen compete in an event mimicking a male pageant show. The various contestants compete in five rounds, with contestants eliminated from the running as they proceed until only two remain to compete in a dance-off.

This year’s contestants included seniors Anthony Grieco, Fernando Cordova, and Robert Milano; junior Daniel De Menezes; sophomores Pete Nwokedi and Xander Crawford; and freshman Tommy Sukiennik. Before the competition, the candidates relayed their thoughts on their expectations for the night.

“I’m feeling quite good about it, win or lose,” Crawford said.

Nwokedi stated that he was looking forward to engaging more with the University community.

“I’m pretty excited about my talent,” Nwokedi said. “I think it’s pretty cool.”

Cordova and Grieco both mentioned that the competition would be their last big shot before they graduated.

“You know what, it’s senior year,” Cordova said. “Go big or go home, you know. I want to make the most of it, and Mr. CUA is the opportunity to do so.”

“I am so excited to get this started, and we’ve all worked super hard,” Grieco said. “It’s going to be a funny show, I would say, and I’m just really happy to be a part of this [during] my last year.”

All of the contestants were introduced with a brief comic video answering the following questions: “How would you rescue a damsel in distress?”, “What Disney prince would you be?”, and “Why do you want to be Mr. CUA?” Judging the competition from the front of the stage was Residence Life Community Director Victor David and Vice President Judi Biggs Garbuio for Student Affairs.

Each of the contestants gave unique and original spins on the questions. Nwokedi said he would save a damsel in distress by empowering her and telling her that she’s an independent woman and that she has the total ability to save herself. Cordova, on the other hand, said that he would use a helicopter to save a princess from a tower, or, if such technology was not available, he would “grab some of my boys” to storm the tower by force. Milano broke convention by stating that instead of a Disney prince, he instead identified closely with Olaf the snowman from Frozen. He also stated that instead of saving a princess with brute force, he would use the art of diversion by making “weird noises” and flapping his arms around to intimidate the enemy. 

Following each of the introductory videos, each contestant would mount the stage to perform a unique talent. Sukiennik ran onstage in a red smoking jacket and a white guitar to perform “Mr. Brightside.” Nwokedi invited Judge Garbuio to select a random note from a xylophone and improvised a talented piece on the spot from that note. Washingtones singer Crawford tap-danced onto the stage and proceeded to lead the audience in singing the popular sea shanty “Drunken Sailor.” Grieco then emerged on stage wearing a holographic fanny pack, from which he removed a starred wizard’s hat and promptly put it on. He proceeded to perform a variety of magic tricks, from making a ring “climb” up a thread to making a crayon carton magically refill and empty itself. Cordova sang “Can’t Help Falling in Love” and proceeded to dance in front of the judges and waltz into the crowd of admiring fans, all the while reaching into his jacket and throwing handfuls of rose petals. Milano likewise displayed his vocal talents, as well as his compositional skills, by playing the guitar and singing a mashup of “Halo” and “What’s Up?” Dressed in a bold shimmery jacket, De Menezes ended the talent portion by reciting “slam poetry” of Nikki Minaj’s “Monster Verse” while draped with a flag bearing Minaj’s visage.

After the judges deliberated, they concurred that Grieco and Sukiennik would face off in a round of Rock, Paper, Scissors to make the cutoff; Grieco won, and Sukiennik was eliminated from the second round.

During Round 2, the contestants sat in a row to answer get-to-know-you questions from the Program Board members. Nwokedi shared his mom’s inspiring story of immigrating to the United States and taking STEM classes while pregnant with him; he described how his mom rose to success, and how her experiences inspired him to become an anesthesiologist. 

Milano shared how his personal role model was his mom, and Cordova described how a talent of his is making the best Kraft mac & cheese. De Menezes said that if he were to bring one thing to a desert island, it would be his friends so they could make TikToks. When asked which celebrity he would bring home for dinner, Grieco stated he would invite Jesus Christ (or Quinn 92). Milano said that if he became president, he would give all Americans a day off of work. Nwokedi said that if he were to remove any color, he would remove the color maroon; he promptly apologized to De Menezes, who had donned a maroon fur boa. Crawford shared how he helped a mentally-challenged teen to come back to the Catholic Church, and how that teen eventually became an altar server.

Audience members voted for their favorite contestants using a QR code projected onto the screen. By the end of the round, both Crawford and De Menezes had been eliminated.

In Round 3, Program Board members arranged a game called “What’s in the Box?”, where contestants would don fluffy animal sleep masks and feel an object placed in a box, with the front panel removed for the audience to observe. Each of the contestants was given two objects to identify, and the contestants who accurately guessed the most objects would continue in the competition. 

Nwokedi could not feel either of the objects, one of which was a half-rubber, half-fur Grinch mask. Grieco accurately guessed a can of cat food and plastic pumpkins. Cordova accurately guessed a stress ball but could not identify a brick of uncooked ramen. Milano correctly felt a rubber rat toy but could not guess a large, 10-pound gummy bear. Since he could not identify either object, Nwokedi was eliminated. 

In Round 4, semi-finalists Cordova and Milano faced off in a solo cup and ping-pong ball balancing challenge. In this challenge, contestants had to bounce a ping pong ball and catch it in a solo cup. When the ball landed in the cup, the contestant would add another cup on top of the ping pong ball and attempt to bounce the next ping pong ball in the cup, continually forming a tower while trying to balance it. Cordova won the challenge, yet several audience members noted that a cup fell off Cordova’s tower, which he placed back on; these audience members complained that the rules dictated that a contestant start over again should a cup fall off. Program Board, however, deemed Cordova one of the finalists, along with Grieco. Meanwhile, Milano’s giant sticky gummy bear was passed around the audience, each spectator tossing it to another in disgust. 

In the final Round, Grieco and Cordova were instructed to participate in a karaoke dance-off to Britney Spears’s “Oops! … I Did It Again.” The two finalists started to dramatically dance on stage and gradually danced into the audience, where they began to flirt with all the audience members. Cordova continued to throw leftover rose petals at audience members, and Grieco artistically collapsed on stage and did a close-up to the Program Board camera before slow-dancing with Cordova. Grieco then jumped off the stage and Cordova danced with Milano’s giant gummy bear before dumping it into a random audience member’s lap.

After consultation, the Program Board judges declared Grieco to be the winner. Grieco was awarded a sash and officially crowned Mr. CUA 2022.