Broken but Redeemed: Leah Darrow Speaks to Catholic University Students

By Renee Rasmussen 

Leah Darrow, a former model and contestant on America’s Next Top Model and current Catholic speaker, recently spoke at Catholic University to talk about her journey in faith. She focused on the theme of forgiveness and how to choose authentic love in Christ. Leah focused on pieces of advice she thinks every college student should know: your circle of influence will greatly affect your return on investment, starting over means starting all things over, and to find happiness you must first seek holiness. 

“You are the investment,” Leah reminded the audience. She went on to explain that the people we choose to put around us will greatly affect our identity. 

“Our circle of influence carries so much weight,” she said. Leah used an anecdote from her own life and explained that during high school she did what she thought would make her popular and would make people like her. 

“I noticed all the girls in my high school had boyfriends. It just seemed that way. So I thought, okay, that’s what I should do, I should get one of those, because you know, everyone has one.”

Ultimately, Leah explained, her need to fit in and her fear of what people thought of her led her to lose her virginity at fifteen. Leah said that night she turned down the choice of authentic love, the love we all crave, and instead chose imitation love. 

“But authentic love,” Leah said, “will never put you in the confession line.” We choose imitation love because we crave validation, Leah claimed. “We want that validation that who we are is enough.” 

But the only way to get that validation is through authentic love, the love that never lies and always waits, Leah argued. 

She explained this using Jesus on the cross. “With His arms out and He says this is for you. That is the most perfect expression of authentic love.” 

This experience at fifteen, however, caused Leah to feel like she didn’t have a place in the Church. 

“We’ve forgotten church is the place for people like me. People who are broken. People who are sinners,” Leah said. 

The biggest challenge of her life came after she was eliminated from America’s Next Top Model. Leah decided to stay in New York and continued her work in fashion and modeling, something she was very successful at. But it still wasn’t enough. 

Leah explained that while in New York her life was “a dark rough go.” She was living an immoral life and suffering from anxiety and depression. She sadly recalled the few times her parents would get phone calls from the ER when she had partied too hard to inform them she was okay. 

“I didn’t think there was any hope for me,” she said 

Leah’s story reached its climax when she got an offer for another photoshoot from an international magazine. 

“Opportunities look to us very different than opportunities look to Heaven,” Leah said. “And I think if Heaven looked at that opportunity it would go a little something like this: ‘Hey Leah we have this extra ticket to Hell, wanna come?’”

During this photoshoot, Leah had an ephiany. She saw a shadow profile of a man’s face that told her “I made you for more.” In that moment Leah stopped the shoot, walked out and began the process of changing her life. 

Leah immediately called her father. 

“Dad, if you don’t come and get me I’m gonna lose my soul.” 

After a long pause her dad replied, “Okay baby. I’m coming to get you.” 

After driving 2,000 miles to get Leah, her dad arrived at New York and together they went to confession, where Leah learned there was redemption through forgiveness. 

Leah emphasized that if you seek holiness happiness will come. By practicing virtues, we will learn that what makes us holy will make us happy, but holiness has to come first. 

“If you play the long game with Christ it’s awesome because it never ends.”