Category: Morpheus

Welcome back, CU! Morpheus hopes your Easter holiday was joyous! Morph is a jolly Catholic, and loves his fair share of a happy Easter. Ahh, nothing like celebrating the Resurrection of our Savior by eating chocolate bunnies and hiding plastic pastel colored eggs around our houses for the kiddies to find. All giggles aside, Easter Read More …

Top of the mornin’, to ya! Morpheus is well into the Irish spirit after an evening spent with Erin Go-Bra-less, and warm cheap beer while partying at the Swim house. That’s right, St. Patrick’s Day fell upon CU yesterday and in the grand spirit of the holiday, everyone was plastered and skipped their classes like Read More …

Happy Friday, CU! Morpheus is very excited for the upcoming weekend! Tonight, Morpheus is ready to attend the Mr. CUA pageant. He will be cheering the loudest, so pay close attention. He was really hoping he would see Mr. Benedek up on stage, preferably in a Speedo, flexing to something such as “I’m a Barbie Read More …

Hello, lovers. Welcome to another week here at CU. This week is another one of Uncle Morph’s favorite weeks during the semester, mainly because he loves his share of kisses and cuddles. That’s right! Prepare yourself for drunk guys and dolls making out around the dark corners of your buildings late at night, and that Read More …

Hello, children, and welcome to another week here at CU! Morpheus genuinely hopes you all enjoyed your snow days, and had your fair share boozin’ it up while avoiding all adult responsibilities and homework. Uncle Morph heard a rumor regarding one of the lacrosse houses during the storm. Apparently the girls recieved a rather nasty Read More …

Welcome to another Friday, fellow Cardinals! Morpheus is overjoyed at the news of a snow day this Friday! Well, a snow day begining at noon. Morph believes that a snow day is good for everyone. Professors have a day off, students can get plastered earlier than usual, and President and Mrs. Garvey can spend the Read More …

Oh, happy day! Not only is it a new semester here at CU, but The Tower has allotted column inches to their good Uncle Morph! Bless them, Father Jude! Welcome back, Cardinals, to another semester here at CU. Ahh, yes, another semester filled with Thirsty Thursdays, SGA Scandal, pseudo frat-boy nonsense and a lack of Read More …

Oh, Merry Christmas to all! A new football for little Johnny, and a new dolly for Mary Sue! A bike for Mikey Jr., and a kiss from me to you! Oh, how Jolly ‘Ole St. Morph loves the Christmas season! Morpheus is pleased to report that his Christmas wish has come true. Yes, children, Morph Read More …

Ho ho ho! (Not you, Miss.) The garland is up, the trees are lit, Christmas music is in the air, and ADG is spiking the eggnog. It’s offically Christmas here at CU and Jolly ‘Ole St. Morph is very excited. Morpheus is down, however, because he always plays Santa and never gets any presents in Read More …

Welcome to another chilly autumn week at CU. Morpheus is looking forward to gobble gobble day, anticipating heaping piles of mashed potatoes and flowing rivers of gravy. There is not much to say this week in light of recent events, however, Morpheus did catch wind that certain members of SGA are petitioning for a “smoke-free” campus here at CU. That’s rich. Where Read More …