‘Tis Not the Season

November has just begun; are you listening to Christmas music? Courtesy of catholic.edu

By The Tower Staff

Only days after college students across the country recovered from their Halloweekend hangovers, America moved on to bigger and better holidays. Ignoring tender memories of families gathered around a dining room table laden with twenty pounds of turkey and mashed potatoes, everyone is focusing on the only upcoming holiday that apparently matters anymore. Only fifty-two more days until Christmas, kids!

At the official American university of the Catholic Church, students remember the true meaning of the Christmas season as they strategically plan shopping trips and listen to “Jingle Bell Rock” thirty-two times a day, a full six weeks before they will pack up a suitcase to go home for winter break.
This begs the question: what is the acceptable timeframe for Yuletide cheer? When are decorations allowed to be put up, and when is it reasonable to start blasting Christmas music? When should students cramming for a midterm start to see holiday-themed Starbucks cups? Some say November 1st, some advise to wait until after Thanksgiving, and some still suggest to wait until December 1st (bah humbug to you traditionalists).

Just as the sign advertising pumpkin spiced lattes in the third floor Starbucks was put up, peppermint and gingerbread flavored hot drinks are already in demand. Radio stations are playing Christmas music and TV channels are recycling your favorite Hallmark Christmas movies, just in time for nice D.C. sweater weather– that is, mid 60s with just a tad of existentially-questioning-whether-it’s-too-hot-for-a-scarf. Malls have already decorated handrails with disgustingly sparkly fake snow. Craft stores and department conglomerates have had their seasonal stock up since late August.
The leaves are yet to change on the trees of the Law School lawn, yet students are already sporting their ugliest of Christmas sweater.

In the Pryz, students can use a winter-wonderland Starbucks snapchat filter that claims “It’s that time!” It is, in fact, not that time, Starbucks.

The sophisticated and enlightened editorial staff of The Tower implores students to not peak too early in terms of their holiday celebration. There’s still plenty of time for you to forget a present for your dad and run to the bookstore in time to buy him a different variation of the same Cardinal sweatshirt you’ve bought him every year. Hold off on the Christmas tunes; it reached 75 degrees this week and one editor has already heard Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You”.

 

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